Meaningful meetings

January 27, 2016

Every brief meeting in a cafe or on the street can be life-changing, meaningful. A fleeting encounter can grow into a long-term nourishing and developing relationship. But it can also just be a symbolic moment, from which you take with you an emotion, a knowledge or an easy observation, which you carry with you and which supports your growth.

Once in Helsinki, I looked for a wonderful yoga school that a nice Estonian woman has created there. I was on my way to a friend’s birthday and the yoga school was where we were supposed to meet. I believed that I knew Helsinki well enough and finding a meeting place would not be difficult. It was a summer weekend afternoon, the city was pleasant and peaceful. I had started walking. All of a sudden, I was overcome with doubt as to whether I was still on the right path. The pleasant sunny afternoon began to be overshadowed by internal clouds of demands. At this point I was addressed by a truly gentlemanly gentleman who had evidently noticed my anxious state. He wore a stylish suit, a matching scarf and chic glasses. Addressed me in perfect English, with fluent phrasing, sympathetic to my predicament, but maintaining a distance that precluded intrusiveness. After hearing the reason for my request, he looked around and examined the surroundings, then pointed to the building on the corner of the street in the distance, where the school was hidden. As imperceptibly as this communication had begun, it had ended. I probably didn’t even know how to thank him politely. Because I was paralyzed by the gallantry, warmth, and ease with which the handsome gentleman helped me.

We met the birthday boy. There were also nice, vivacious, self-caring young women in the company, with whom we spent a pleasant afternoon telling each other about events in life. We danced without drinking a drop of alcohol, the fun company and interesting conversations created a sense of pleasure in themselves. I enjoyed myself, I was outside the everyday and reached a state where you see yourself from the side. With a clear head. Feelings that are good for the emergence of brief detours outside of the usual life arrangements, the kind that give energy and direction to everyday actions.

I always remember this pleasant gentleman when I am buried in everyday worries. When some seemingly goal-oriented movement has captured my attention, at the same time I sense that I have lost my way and lost perspective. If I want to bring clarity and peace to my activities.

I met the birthday boy, who also led me to this pleasant experience, during my Ayurvedic studies in India. We had already completed an online learning program during the year, which included a weekly lecture, homework and discussion. By then, we knew each other’s net identity and mindset. But the real getting to know each other took place only in India, when we spent long days together: morning lectures with afternoon massage practices and evening herbal cooking under the canopy on the roof of the clinic, where we talked about the life path of the entire study group while stirring the healing oil simmering on the fire.

That’s how I met a meditation teacher from Australia, who has also visited Estonia to date.
And in the same way, I have become friends with a beautiful woman living in Nice who also has her own Ayurvedic practice. We communicate and share experiences. We visit a village and while resting together, we have talked about something that long-time sweethearts talk about. This also provides a background for your everyday actions, brings you out of it and gives you the ability to see things from the side. Achieve peace.

Today I have realized that this is Ayurveda. Pat the soul. Give a caress so that the anxious thoughts and rush can subside. So that the mind and body can relax and calm down. So that we can see the whole and thus tensions can disappear and it will be possible to untie the knots that everyday life has woven. Because the human body is intelligent. The body gets everything it needs, restores balance and heals itself if you caress it and give it peace.

But not every time we look for an agreed place to meet the birthday boy. Five years ago today, during my annual visit to my gynaecologist, the doctor, looking at the results of my tests, announced that we would have to make an appointment to have a growth of cells removed from my internal organs that could develop into cancer. Handed me a paper to sign with the dangers and warnings of the clinical intervention. I asked for time to sign. I went home and was unclaimed. On the one hand, it seemed easy and safe to have the formation that causes fear removed. Which can develop into cancer and then paralyze life. Let the evil that has attacked me be taken away. So that I can continue to be pure, spotless and successful. But the questions about how to proceed remained unanswered. That this is where the time starts, when I go for regular check-ups and cut it off if I don’t like something. That it is possible to achieve that the threatening formation and the risky harvest do not happen again. And from there on, the question is that if the organism has created this formation, is it possible to achieve that the organism also overcomes it.

Today’s national medicine could not give me these answers. The task is difficult. The environment we operate in is intensive, full of chemical and physical, emotional and mental pollution. Changes that are difficult to deal with. And what basic, official medicine cannot take risks, cannot guarantee that a person is capable of changing himself. Just like today’s school system, the medical system must also provide consistent high-quality service to the entire society. We are children of our time. The systems were created after independence with the primary goal of eliminating the “threat of hunger”. Looking around and compared to our neighbors, we are good at it. And in that sense, hats off to those who have brought us here. Research and development within the systems must also be respected. But I couldn’t wait at that moment. I had six months to avoid the knife.

I sat down at the computer and went through a large amount of information in Estonian and English about my cell formation. I wrote down all kinds of recommendations and sheds that I found. I took large amounts of vitamins, healing oils. I did sitting vows, extreme diets, etc. I fought my cell formation every day. The family became worried. My husband and I searched all over the internet. Among others, we also experimented with Ayurveda. To no avail at first. There were no practitioners with sufficient experience nearby, and no one was willing to take on the responsibility of treating from a distance. We each have our own real financial limits. It was not possible for me to quit my job and go to a distant country to look for happiness.

That’s how I got to another meeting, which had started unnoticed already a couple of years ago in India. Back then, we bought books at the airport to read during the flight when we returned from a holiday trip. Having already briefly familiarized myself with Ayurveda, I chose a book that deals with being a woman and its healthy aspects from an Ayurvedic perspective. The author is a European from Canada who, according to his primary education, was a gynecologist practicing Western medicine.

I was still hesitant about contacting him and the whole undertaking. That how to write. What to ask. Will it be answered? What do I do next? I’ve still been in awe of the authors. After all, they are doing important work and should not be distracted by trivial matters. But the answer was easier than expected. That the problem is treatable and things will be fine. There was a link to a website where you could book an appointment. Two days a month he had appointments in Zurich, which is the closest place to us where Ayurveda is a nationally recognized part of medicine. I added up expenses, which weren’t exactly small. But at that moment it was the only thread leading to systemic help that would avoid the cut. I made an appointment, bought a ticket and was on my way.

I had booked an afternoon appointment. When I went on a ski trip before, I had landed in Zurich and I knew the organization and ease of orientation of the Swiss. I felt confident going on the morning flight. But – it was December. There was a snowstorm outside. The flight transferred to Copenhagen. Departure was delayed. Getting to the connecting flight was critical. The connecting flight was also delayed. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it on time and the reservation and money would be lost. Until I flew, the man tried to communicate with the doctor and inform about the possible delay. It was not easy, because at the same time the doctor had appointments.

I got there fine though. The doctor had also only come from Paris in the morning, and his flight was also delayed. The entire timeline had shifted a bit. I finally entered the reception room. I had seen the doctor in the picture, but it did not bring out the warmth and peace that radiated from him. No white coat or suit. None of the outward reservation I had attributed to the great Doctor and author. There was only unreserved presence and concentration. No sign of a messed up agenda. I didn’t feel small at all. I told my story. I had previously sent tests, both medical and ayurvedic questionnaire about health status and lifestyle. The doctor looked at me, shook his head at the whole treatment program I was testing on myself. Asked if I would give him four months for treatment. Said everything will be fine. Ordered me to stop all the intense practices I had been doing. Gave me two prescriptions. One was a remedy to drink a liter a day cup by cup at hourly intervals. Another herbal powder to be taken in the morning and evening with honey or ghee. Recommended to be gentle and loving with yourself. Do an oil massage.

I was there. I knew I was cured. That I will get well. That I can stop and reverse what caused the cellular changes in me. The one that showed that there are things where I am not in tune with myself.

Today, my healer has become my teacher. I had made a promise to myself that if Ayurveda helped me, I would start learning it to give others the opportunity to heal themselves, improve the quality of life and reduce physical ailments. For development. To not turn your head away from what the body tells us. To take time and notice your surroundings and yourself. To achieve the big picture of your life, where the little things are trivial, solvable. I am essentially addicted to the feeling of knowing and presence, a feeling I had previously associated with alcohol and drugs.

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