If an elderly person is not suffering from depression, they are happier at this stage of their life than ever before. How to reduce bitterness and increase feelings of contentment and love within oneself is the fundamental question of ageing.
Body and mind are one whole
According to Ayurveda, the body and mind are one whole: by influencing one, it is possible to bring about changes in the other. It can therefore be said that everything that takes place in the mind, including depression, has physiological causes. I see pensioners in my practice who complain of one physical symptom or another, but in most cases they themselves realise that the root of the problem lies between their ears. They harbour negative feelings – anger, a sense of worthlessness and inadequacy – which they do not want to feel.
When a baby is born, it expects to be looked after. It wants simple food at fixed times that it can digest, wants to sleep in tune with nature, wake up in the morning and pass everything that has been digested. It does not want its senses to be overstimulated; it needs rest, peace and quiet, and a gentle, loving touch. Only then does it feel loved. Parents may speak to them of love in any language or play soothing music, but if their basic needs are unmet, the child will feel discontent. Exactly the same applies to adults and the elderly.
To experience contentment and a lasting sense of love, you must look after yourself in exactly the same way as you would a baby. The only difference is that, as an adult, it is no longer your parents who are responsible for this, but you yourself.
How can you look after yourself?
What does the daily routine of an elderly person living alone look like? It is quite common for them to cook a large amount of food at once – enough for several days, sometimes even for a week – eat food that is difficult to digest or semi-prepared meals, watch their favourite TV programmes in the evening and go to bed once they’ve finished at midnight.
Our mind is filled with impressions received through the senses, which, when overstimulated, it cannot process. Consequently, the mind is restless and sleep is disturbed. The stomach plays up every other day, sometimes even once a week. Not to mention a loving touch.
Here are some simple tips on how to increase feelings of peace and love, and reduce anxiety, negative emotions and depression in older age – indeed, at any age.
- Every morning, prepare yourself a fresh meal consisting of two or three ingredients – for example, grains for porridge, vegetables and/or lentils – using seasonal, local, organic produce.
- Warm porridge is best for breakfast, oven-roasted vegetables for dinner, but you can also eat the same dish at every meal. The important thing is to eat fresh food prepared on the same day as far as possible. The exception is soups, which you can eat for a couple of days in a row.
- Be sure to eat a hot meal in the evening and, for other meals too, mostly hot food – it’s easier to digest.
- Eat at fixed times every day and do not skip meals: for example, breakfast between 8 and 9 am, lunch between 12 and 1 pm, and dinner between 5 and 6 pm.
- Make sure your food is nutritious and your portions are moderate. First thing in the morning, on an empty stomach, drink two cups of warm water; if that seems like a lot, start with one.
- Make sure you have a bowel movement every day. Ideally, you should pass the previous day’s stool before breakfast; it should be similar in shape and consistency to a ripe banana. It may take a little time to train your body to function in this way.
- Reduce the number of glowing screens in your life and rest your mind in nature and silence.
- Say something beautiful, loving and uplifting to someone every day.
- Enjoy the moments when you can simply be, without having to do anything.
- Go to bed by 10 pm at the latest and wake up early in the morning. When you wake up, you can sit up in bed, prop yourself up with pillows and keep your eyes closed whilst experiencing the start of a new day. Enjoy slow mornings.
Aging from the inside and out
As ageing is a process of drying out and the waning of vital juices, both internal and external cleansing have their place. For internal cleansing, triphala powder or aloe vera juice, taken in the morning on an empty stomach, works well. Both regulate bowel function and have a beneficial effect on the mind.
For external care, give yourself a massage with warm oil. Organic sesame oil is ideal for this, but you can also use sunflower or olive oil. Warm a suitable amount of oil (30–40 ml) in a small cup over a pan of simmering water and gently and lovingly apply it all over your body. Massage your joints in circular motions and along the bones back and forth, and your stomach in a clockwise direction. Then take a warm shower or bath.
Applying warm oil is like a transfer of universal loving energy – a gentle, loving touch with which you can bless yourself every day. It is perfect if you can also treat yourself to an Ayurvedic massage, where the touch comes from another person.
Mature and serene
Focus on enjoyment, whether it be spending time with loved ones, a walk in nature, a self-massage with warm oil, or food that soothes the stomach and calms the mind. For the treatment of more severe forms of depression, Ayurveda has a set of specific guidelines that should be followed under the supervision of a specialist – during an Ayurvedic health consultation, we take a holistic look at the health of the elderly.
The greatest gifts you can give yourself and the world in later life are understanding, peace and love. On a happy face with relaxed muscles, wrinkles are beautiful and the face appears ageless; a tense, discontented face makes one look old even in one’s thirties. It is difficult for those who have an overly fixed view of themselves – who believe that they are the way they are because of an illness or their childhood. In reality, we are constantly changing, and the more gently we treat ourselves, the easier it is.
When faced with negativity, you must be resolute and start by changing things that seem very small at first glance, yet are within your power. If you focus on your own small bodily routines, your mind will calm and the negativity will diminish. It is never too late to do this. The world needs the understanding of mature people – being old and wise means offering peace to those whose lives are intense. Peace, a sense of love and good health are a person’s natural state when they look after themselves and live in accordance with the rhythms and rules of nature.